This is a simple how-to for you love, lovely readers: “How to Spend Your Paycheck at the Same Company Who Gave You the Money in the First Place.” It’s a long and unnecessary title, but can anyone else sense my irritation with myself? I don’t know how many of you have worked in the clothing retail business. I feel like it is a rite of passage of some sort, to want to hang yourself by the next rack and/or completely strangle an unbelievably rude customer. So for those who understand my pain – this suddenly turned in to a Beyonce-inspired post – I am sure you have been faced with my dilemma before.
1. Find a retail job at a store that you do not typically go in to because a) it’s too expensive or b) it isn’t your taste.
2. Come to your first day of work in your normal, appropriate work clothes.
3. Slowly get sucked in to the “Look” the store portrays to its customers.
4. Try to deny the fact that you are starting to love everything you see coming in and out of the dressing rooms.
5. Attempt to ignore your fondness of the pretty clothes and work at the cash register instead.
6. Realize that working at the cash register only bypasses all the ugly clothes to the beautiful ones your customer is buying instead.
7. Splurge on your first big buy. (With your employee discount, it isn’t that bad, is it?)
8. Repeat 7 a handful of times.
9. Get a little weepy over the fact that you are spending all your Coachella money on clothes that you never used to like before you started this job. (Remind yourself: At least you bought your Kings of Leon tickets before the Spring collection came in.)
10. Countdown the days until your next pay check so the cycle from step 7-9 can continue.
Lost Locale Blouse, $88